Journal day: how do you feel when you're alone versus when you're with others?

    I figured I would do something a little different. A friend suggested I should do a journal day each week as a way to clear my head and settle myself, and a means for my readers to get to know me too. My questions each week are going to be completely random and I don't get to pick or choose. Well, here I goooo...

How do you feel when you're alone versus when you're with others?

Woof, this is a loaded question. I can go a reeeeaaalllyyy long time alone before I begin to want contact with other humans. If you give me a good book or two and I can go even longer. I am a tried-and-true introvert at heart and am remarkably capable of keeping myself entertained.  More often than not, I feel at peace. Not only am I an introvert at my core, I also have social anxiety and am extremely socially awkward (which just adds to my anxiety). I literally need time alone. I get overly stimulated in social situations; lights, sounds, people. Too many conversations to focus on at once while being bombarded with background music, background conversations, tv's, etc.  My anxiety is rising just talking about it. I even prefer to text over talk on the phone. Like, don't call me. I will ignore you. I get such a rush of anxiety when someone calls me, no thank you. I mean, I still "adult" and answer if it's someone I know and know it's someone I need to talk to. 

That's not to say I don't enjoy spending time with friends. I do. I think everyone needs a least little human connection. I may be an introvert at my core, but I have learned extrovert tendencies over time. So I guess I'm more of an introverted extrovert. I prefer to keep the meetings small and intimate, however. Parties and clubs just aren't my "thing". To each their own. Even when my girlfriends and I meet up for our monthly brunches, after around an hour, I break out the book I carry with me everywhere (yes, I'm that girl). I still participate in our conversations while I read though (and it may seem rude to others but my friends get me). They understand, and will even ask me question about the book I'm reading. Even then, after too long I get the sudden desire to YEET myself right on out of there *insert gif of Road Runner from old school Wile E. Coyote cartoons dipping out*. If we manage to get a little wild (ie. too many brunch mimosas) I essentially have hit my "people quota" for the week and spend that time de-stimming and avoiding others. I'm weird, what can I say? Loveable, funny, and kind but definitely weird.